Full House actress Candace Cameron Bure and NHL player Valeri Bure have been married since 1996. That’s over two decades spent in holy matrimony. What’s more, on the surface their marriage seems absolutely idyllic, with no affairs, no fights or temporary splits. In fact, no crises of any kind.
Still, is anyone’s marriage like that, really? Picture-perfect flawless? Well, looking through interviews that Cameron Bure has conducted over the years, it seems that there’s more going on in the relationship than you might think – and some of it’s rather controversial, too.
Back when she was just Candace Cameron, Bure was cast as D. J. Tanner in the show Full House. And while she was just 11 years old at the time, she nevertheless had the background to help her move easily into the celebrity world. Her mother was a talent agent, for one, while her brother Kirk was also a child actor. In fact, while playing Mike Seaver on the TV show Growing Pains, he became a bona fide teen idol.
Bure subsequently grew up on the set of Full House, while occasionally branching out into other film and TV work. She even appeared in two episodes of Growing Pains alongside her brother. Meanwhile, in 1995, and while still appearing on Full House, she attended a charity hockey game to see her co-star Dave Coulier play. He would go on to introduce her to Russian hockey player Valeri Bure, the man who would become her husband. What’s more, as luck would have it, Bure was a big Full House fan!
Bure was just 19 years old at the time, and her husband-to-be was 21. And so while both of them were at fairly young ages to get married, they didn’t seem to care at all. Indeed, they moved very quickly from their first date to their wedding – barely a year had passed before they got hitched, in fact. They subsequently tied the knot on June 22, 1996, at a ceremony attended by several of Bure’s Full House co-stars. John Stamos, Bob Saget, Lori Loughlin, Jodie Sweetin and, of course, Dave Coulier were all there.
Many a marriage has eventually fallen apart because the couple were too young or too unaccustomed to each other to make it work. But that didn’t happen to Candace Cameron and Valeri Bure. Indeed, as the years went by, their relationship seemed to remain strong. Valeri even once sent Dave Coulier a personalised hockey stick reading “Thanks for Candace” to honor Coulier for his role in their meeting.
And the pair soon started having children: first came Natasha in 1998, then Lev in 2000 and, finally, Maksim in 2002. Plus, something else happened in this period of Candace Cameron Bure’s life – she became a Christian. Her brother Kirk had become a born-again Christian when he was 17, and he subsequently started giving his sister religious books. Once she read them, she also decided to embrace her faith – and it was to become a huge part of her life.
While Bure took some time out from her career to look after her children, she’d returned to acting again by the mid ’00s. She guest-starred on the popular show That’s So Raven, for example, as well as appearing in a few Hallmark movies and having a main role in Make It or Break It. Furthermore, her marriage never seemed to falter. As a result, fans wondered why, seeing as she was in an industry that’s never really been associated with successful matrimony.
Well, come January 2014, Bure’s views on marriage became a lot clearer, as her book Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose set out her blueprint for wedded bliss. It turned out that she felt that the longevity of her marriage was due to her religious beliefs. Specifically, Bure stated that her job in her family’s household was to be “submissive” to her husband and that that is the key to a healthy marriage.
In her book, Bure had written, “My husband is a natural-born leader. I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work.” These remarks subsequently caused controversy.
They met with so much controversy, in fact, that Bure then decided to do an interview with The Huffington Post in which she explained her opinions. “The definition I’m using with the word ‘submissive’ is the Biblical definition of that,” she said. “So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength.” However, she also said that in any household it is “very difficult to have two heads of authority.”
But many people weren’t satisfied by these explanations, either. So a few days later, Bure gave another interview, this time to HLN. In it, she said that the word “submissive” sounded bad only because people “don’t understand the Biblical definition of the word.” She then elaborated further by remarking, “I think they’re thinking of it in terms of a perverted Fifty Shades of Grey kind of definition, or an oppression, or even a dictatorship. And that is not what I’m talking about.”
“We have a very wonderful marriage,” Bure continued. “And that’s why I have felt comfortable sharing about it in my book. I had no idea this was going to stir this much controversy. We have a marriage in which we want to honor God, and so I just was explaining that. But this little word in there is causing everybody to just get into a tizzy about it.” Indeed, Bure’s social media accounts were going wild.
In particular, opinions flooded in on her Instagram page after she posted a picture of herself showing off her muscles. That may be because she captioned the image, “Nothing weak about this – people talk about what they don’t understand.” However, the comments posted in response to the image were extremely varied: some agreeing with her, some not. “Being submissive isn’t weak at all… it’s Biblical! Good for you,” one person wrote. However, another commented, “I agree there is nothing weak or wrong about your life or marriage. But when you publicize it and sell it, I believe there is.”
In fact, this debate was to continue for more than a year. In January 2015, moreover, Bure gave an interview to Yahoo! Parenting to establish that she hadn’t changed her views about these issues. “I put [my husband] on a pedestal so he can grow. And he does the same for me,” she said. “Men and women are different in how they want to feel love and respect. To go back to the Bible, men are told to love their wives and women are told to respect their husbands.”
What’s more, the controversy even continued into the following year. By 2016 Bure had become a co-host of The View, and her co-stars were very interested indeed to know about her marriage. So, the women held a discussion about the question “Does a relationship need a leader?”, in which they all weighed up the pros and cons. However, in the end, Bure found herself outnumbered, as the other women all thought that her views were very much outdated.
What the Bible actually says about “submission” in marriage can be found in Peter 3:1. It reads, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.” Bure clearly believes in this Bible passage, but has it really helped her and her husband get the relationship they wanted?
An answer of sorts to that question came in June 2016, when Bure posted a message for her 20th wedding anniversary. “Let’s be real for a second. We are celebrating 20 years of marriage today. 22 years together as a couple,” she wrote. “I couldn’t be more proud to be here and love my man the way I do. But let me assure you it hasn’t been all roses the whole journey.” Wait, what?
“There have been several tough years, in a row, ups and downs, bad attitudes and bad decisions, but we’ve persevered. We rode them out, we loved each other through them, we kept the focus: God’s glory,” she said. “We are both better for it. I’m so grateful and thankful for the man I married. Neither of us are perfect, far from it, and will continue to make mistakes because we are human.”
Some might have taken the Facebook post as a sign that the marriage was slowly disintegrating. But, given that all relationships hit their snags, that may not have been the case. And in March 2016 Bure revealed another secret to In Touch that suggested that things are still going swimmingly. Namely, she and her husband still have an active love life, even with their three kids and busy hours. “When I’m home, we have to keep things alive,” Bure said.
What’s more, 2017 has been a very good year for Candace Cameron Bure so far. Not only has she now spent 21 years with her husband, but her career is also going from strength to strength with Fuller House, the Full House reboot. She remains a devout Christian, too, and mentions her faith frequently on her Instagram page. And that faith has apparently led her to a happy marriage – even if it’s not necessarily in a way that everybody would choose.